


And Here, We Persist

by LemonNinjaa



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Comfort, Fluff, M/M, The Amazing Book Is Not on Fire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-09-22
Packaged: 2018-08-16 15:23:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8107642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonNinjaa/pseuds/LemonNinjaa
Summary: What probably happened after the camera turned off the day Dan and Phil received the first copy of TABINOF.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the tags on a Tumblr post that has since been deleted... Basically it was a gifset of Dan looking through the first copy of TABINOF from the "Making of TABINOF" video on his channel, and the tags were talking about Dan ugly crying as he looked through the book lol.

            _When you work so hard at something for so long, it’s rather surreal to see it all laid out before you,_ Dan thought to himself, staring in awe at the cover of the first physical copy of The Amazing Book is Not on Fire. Now that the camera was off, him and Phil having just filmed their first reactions to it, the gravity of the situation was hitting him hard.

            “This is something that we made together… A whole universe that we built with our own hands,” Dan mumbled, partly to himself and partly to Phil who was sitting on the couch next to him. Phil knew that Dan felt so much all the time, and that naturally he would want to have a moment with it himself.

            “Yep,” Phil said quietly, looking at the way Dan’s fingers glided reverently over the embossed letters on the cover.

            One leg bent under the other, Dan flipped through the book, making a clear effort to not wrinkle or bend any of the pages. He didn’t stop at any particular section, but just admired the sheer vivacity that almost seemed to leap off the pages as he flipped them. _This is the life we built together, this is the physical proof that will last forever, long after everything is gone_.

            He got to the end of the book. After looking at the Phil collage on the back inside cover for a second, he held all of the pages in one hand so that he could flip between the two collages: the one on the front inside cover that represented himself, and the one that represented Phil. All of the pictures were carefully selected to reflect their interests, and it blew Dan’s mind that somehow people would see these pictures and know to associate them with him and Phil. Even their mirrored fringes were something many people in the world would instantly recognize.

            All 224 pages had been carefully put together by the two of them; it was truly their magnum opus, the thing that would persist through the rest of time to represent them. It documented who Dan and Phil were as beings, what they did together, what they did separately, who they were together as a brand and as people. It would outlive their own existences, the lifespans of all of their current subscribers. It was a time lapse of years, memories, ideas, all of these massive, intangible things condensed into a physical object that fit easily into anyone’s hands.

            The collages started blurring together in a hurricane of colours, and Dan hastily closed the book and placed it to one side so his tears wouldn’t sink into the paper. Phil, who had been attentively watching, slid over on the couch so he was right next to Dan, and started rubbing his back. He knew how Dan was; he watched him put his face in his hands and bring his knees up in an almost defensive posture. Phil knew Dan wasn’t hiding from him, he was just a little defensive of the world seeing him like this. But the entire world wasn’t watching. It was just Phil.

            Dan sobbed into his hands, feeling a whirlwind of emotions.

            “I’m so proud of me, of you, of us,” he choked out. “We did this together, we put our hearts and souls into it and I hope everyone will love it. This is probably the most significant thing I could ever offer to the world and I’m so glad that I did it with you. I didn’t think I could ever do something this big, I thought I’d just die unhappy after living a terrible, unenjoyable existence as a boring lawyer, but I’m so glad things turned out this way.”

            Phil made a quiet affirming noise, knowing that Dan just had to talk it all out. He hadn’t seen Dan cry so hard in years, the last time being the mental breakdown he’d had before deciding to drop out of university. Objectively, it wasn’t very attractive; Dan’s face was blotchy and red from rubbing tears away and his nose was dripping as he snuffled in between forceful sobs, but to Phil it just felt like a reminder that even though people may change drastically, they can still somehow remain the same. Being with Dan felt like being home. The two of them had evolved over the years; they grew up (physically and emotionally), changed their branding slightly, got better at making videos, started doing bigger and more exciting things, but at heart, they were still the same as they were when they met all those years ago. Dan will always cry at emotionally touching or significant moments, and Phil will always be there to help him through it. They’ll probably always be codependent, but when you spend so much time with someone, they become part of you, and Phil wouldn’t have it any other way with Dan.

            “Sometimes I’m struck by the sheer absurdity of the life we live, of how lucky we are to do this stuff. It’s more than I ever dreamed I could have. I’m so grateful, even when things get stressful and hard, when we’re sleep deprived and always running out of time before deadlines, or travelling for hours on end surrounded by strangers… There are always people out there looking for something and I can’t believe that sometimes that thing is us. The world is truly so strange and sometimes it’s scary but right now I’m just so happy to be alive.” His voice was cracking, but when he looked at Phil, he smiled even as tears ran down his face.

            Phil leaned away from Dan briefly to reach for the tissue box, resting it on his own lap before pulling one out and offering it to Dan with a gentle smile.

            “I’m happy you feel that way,” he finally spoke. “I can’t imagine doing something this significant with anyone else but you. I’m so proud of this world we’ve created and I can’t wait to see what else we do next. I’m sure we’ll manage to do even greater things in the future, and I’m excited to do it with you right there next to me.”

            Dan flung himself into Phil’s side, grabbing him tight. It was an awkward hug from a strange angle, and Dan was getting Phil’s shirt wet with tears, but it was such an unfiltered moment in a life punctuated by retakes and redos and exaggerated personalities. Phil didn’t mind at all that he’d have to change his shirt later or that Dan would later complain for hours that his eyes hurt or his nose was stuffy from crying so hard; he’d always be there. Dan would always be there. And even when they weren’t there anymore, The Amazing Book is Not on Fire would be.


End file.
